My parents fought about money for 46 years.
Forty-six years of the same arguments, the same blame, the same frustration. They both wanted to be right more than they wanted to be wealthy. Neither would admit they needed help with their finances.
In the end, they both lost.
As a financial planner in Houston, I’ve learned that your relationship with money wasn’t formed when you got your first job or opened your first bank account. It was formed at your kitchen table, listening to your parents argue about bills. It was shaped by what was said – and what wasn’t said – about money in your house growing up.
Your money story started in childhood, and it’s still running your adult financial life.
The Money Messages That Shape Us
Think back to your earliest money memories. What did you learn about money without anyone actually teaching you?
Maybe you learned:
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees”
- “We can’t afford that”
- “Rich people are greedy”
- “Money is the root of all evil”
- “There’s never enough”
- “Don’t talk about money”
Or maybe the lessons were unspoken:
- Watching your parents stress about bills
- Seeing them fight about spending
- Feeling the tension when money was tight
- Learning that money equals love (or withholding it equals punishment)
These weren’t just lessons about money. They were lessons about your worth, your security, and your place in the world.
How Childhood Money Messages Control Your Adult Life
The Scarcity Script
If you grew up hearing “We can’t afford that” or “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” you likely developed a scarcity mindset about money.
Adult behaviors this creates:
- Hoarding money instead of investing it
- Feeling guilty about spending on yourself
- Always expecting financial disaster
- Difficulty charging what you’re worth
- Fear of taking calculated financial risks
The Money-Equals-Conflict Script
If your parents fought about money like mine did, you might have learned that money discussions lead to pain and conflict.
Adult behaviors this creates:
- Avoiding financial conversations with your spouse
- Making money decisions in isolation
- Feeling anxious about budgeting or financial planning
- Procrastinating on important financial decisions
- Avoiding professional financial help
The “Money Is Bad” Script
If you heard that “money is the root of all evil” or that “rich people are greedy,” you developed negative associations with wealth.
Adult behaviors this creates:
- Self-sabotaging when you start building wealth
- Feeling guilty about financial success
- Underearning compared to your potential
- Giving money away instead of building security
- Avoiding investment opportunities
The “I’m Not Good With Money” Script
If your parents handled money poorly and never taught you financial skills, you might believe you’re “just not a money person.”
Adult behaviors this creates:
- Letting others make all financial decisions
- Avoiding learning about investing or financial planning
- Believing you’re doomed to repeat your parents’ mistakes
- Feeling helpless about your financial future
The Cost of Running Someone Else’s Money Story
Here’s what I’ve learned working with thousands of people: Most financial problems aren’t really about money. They’re about the stories we tell ourselves about money.
My parents’ 46-year money fight wasn’t about budgets or income. It was about control, fear, pride, and their own childhood money stories colliding.
They both came from families that didn’t talk about money openly. They never learned healthy financial communication. So they repeated the pattern – arguing instead of planning, blaming instead of problem-solving, being right instead of being wealthy.
The real tragedy wasn’t their financial struggles. It was watching two intelligent people let their money stories destroy their peace for nearly five decades.
Recognizing Your Money Story
Your current financial behaviors are clues to your childhood money story. Ask yourself:
When I think about money, what emotions come up?
- Anxiety? (Scarcity script)
- Shame? (“Money is bad” script)
- Confusion? (“I’m not good with money” script)
- Dread? (Money-equals-conflict script)
What money patterns do I repeat that don’t serve me?
- Overspending when stressed
- Avoiding financial planning
- Arguments with spouse about money
- Feeling guilty about financial success
What did I swear I’d never do with money (but find myself doing anyway)? This is usually your parents’ pattern showing up in your life.
Rewriting Your Money Story
The good news? You’re not doomed to repeat your parents’ financial patterns.
You can rewrite your money story, but it takes conscious effort and usually professional guidance.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Old Story
You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Recognize that your financial behaviors might be driven by childhood programming, not current reality.
Step 2: Question the Old Beliefs
Ask yourself: “Is this belief about money actually true? Does it serve me now? What would I do differently if I didn’t believe this?”
Step 3: Write a New Story
Decide consciously what you want your relationship with money to be. What values do you want to guide your financial decisions?
Step 4: Get Professional Help
Just like my parents needed help but were too proud to ask for it, most people need guidance to break generational money patterns.
Breaking the Cycle
In my Financial Summer Money program, we don’t just teach budgeting and investing. We start with money mindset because your money story determines your money results.
Module 1 – Foundation & Mindset specifically addresses:
- Identifying your inherited money beliefs
- Breaking through limiting beliefs that keep you stuck
- Creating a healthy relationship with money
- Building confidence in your financial decision-making
Why This Matters for Your Financial Future
Until you address the psychology behind your money decisions, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns:
- Starting budgets that you abandon
- Making financial plans you don’t follow
- Knowing what to do but not doing it
- Sabotaging your own financial success
Your money story is either working for you or against you. There’s no neutral.
My Commitment to Breaking the Pattern
Watching my parents fight about money for 46 years taught me something important: Financial planning isn’t just about numbers. It’s about healing your relationship with money.
That’s why I became a financial planner. Not just to help people build wealth, but to help them break free from the money stories that keep them stuck.
Ready to Rewrite Your Money Story?
If you recognize yourself in any of these patterns, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not stuck.
In my Financial Summer Money program, we address the psychology of money alongside the practical skills because lasting financial change requires both.
Limited-Time Grant Available: I have 20 grants that reduce the program cost from $2,500 to just $1,000. Applications close September 17th, and the program starts September 24th.
Apply for your $1,500 grant here and start writing a new money story for your life.
Your financial future doesn’t have to look like your financial past.
Don’t let someone else’s money story run your life for the next 46 years.
About Bridgett Dickey
Bridgett Dickey is a Houston-based financial planner and founder of Dickey Financial. She graduated from Rice University’s financial planning program and completed personal and business owner training from Goldman Sachs. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping people overcome inherited money beliefs and build healthy relationships with wealth.